Wtf?

This is a very provocative blog.

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I meant it to be.

It’s to spark a conversation within society…

About sexuality.

And where sexuality “stands” within our society.

It’s something I’m passionate about.

I don’t believe that people should be prudish when it comes to talking about sexuality in society.

It needs to be talked about openly and honestly and without sanctimonious views weighing in.

This is why we have sexual problems with our youth, because we do NOT have an OPEN AND HEALTHY DIALOGUE about sexuality in our society.

I hope that I can play a part in starting that conversation and discourse. I hope that I can help our society in a way that is desperately needs.


This is the tale of a bipolar, fibro-ridden girl trying to find her own sexuality and come to terms with it and reclaim it for herself. These are her struggles and her thoughts on her journey. She’s also on a journey to get her degree in psychology with a concentration in studying human sexuality, and also mental illness. So this is also just about her life in general sometimes. She’s a beautiful disaster. You take what you get. 😉

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Paradox In A Small Box

This is a blog about sexuality and sex. Particularly my experiences with it. And about trying, as a society, to be more open and accepting of both and being more willing to have an open dialogue about these topics without being totally prudish and dumb. And just about whatever I feel like talking about. 😀

So aka, there ARE and WILL BE nude photos of me on here. Just as an fyi. 😉

I am Mandy.

L’amour & L’allumeuse.

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The Sweet & Saucy Siren.

Born and raised in Charleston, SC and the Tricounty Area my whole life, I’m a born and bred Southern Belle. Except I’m not lady-like at all. I cuss like a sailor, am crude and vulgar, and have no filter in regards to anything. I’m an open book and really honest about my life and about myself.

I’m bipolar and have fibromyalgia and am currently being treated for both, trying my hardest to achieve stability in relation to both diseases and with my life in general. I’m empathic and feel emotions extremely intensely, which can be a bad thing at times. It leaves me a total mess. I’m already basically a total clusterfuck as it is. Haha.

I’m a classically trained vocalist and am venturing into the world of modern music now. I’ve been writing poetry since I was a kid in elementary school and have continued all throughout my life, even up until now, and am now trying my hand at novel writing. I began modeling in 2011 and have sporadically taken breaks from the business and then returned, and I hope that I will be able to return to it soon without taking anymore hiatuses. I’m an artist, I love creating art in any form.

I’ve wanted to be a psychologist since I was in early middle school, maybe even earlier, and am extremely passionate about breaking the stigmas that surround mental illnesses and those who have them, and well as other “invisible illnesses”, like my fibro. I am hoping to return to college to continue my quest for my bachelor’s in psychology in the fall of 2016.

I have two fur-babies, my eldest being a long-haired black and white 15 year old beauty by the name of Panda and my youngest being a short-haired gray tabby by the name of Mango. Panda is a sweet cat, loving and adorable and absolutely fierce and dominating. He is king of our neighborhood. Mango? He’s a fucking asshole. Who loves only me. And only pretends to love other people to piss me off. He learned the art of emotional manipulation from his mother. My bad. Lol. I love him to death though. He’s my baby. I raised him from a very very VERY tiny kitten that had to be bottle fed to the little asshat he is today. There are also two doggies in my life, but they are my mom’s dogs because they love her best, though I love them to pieces and can’t imagine life without either of them, even though they drive me (and my poor mother as well) up the goddamn wall half the time. Le sigh. The pitfalls of parenthood. Lol.

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(Panda)

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(Mango)

I have a younger sister that also drives me up the goddamn wall half the time as well, haha. Just kidding…kinda… 😉 My sister and I were close as children, then became more distant during our (her) teenage years, but now that we’ve (kinda) become adults, we’ve become closer again, which is nice. <3

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(Sister on left, me on right)

I’m a nerdy fangirl, who LOVES the show Supernatural and is obsessed with it and it’s cast. I even run another, nerdy & fangirly, blog: The TRUE Ultimate Fangirl Officially!

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(I AM SO FUCKING IN LOVE WITH JENSEN ACKLES IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY!!!)

I also would like a Lord of the Rings themed wedding. Lol. Not to mention a tattoo in Elvish. And another in Enochian. 😉 Ahahahahaha! I also like to dress up in costumes, hence the cosplay stuff. 😉

Oh… And I like sex… Did I mention that? 😉

What’s so special about me?

I’m quirky, eccentric, unique, effervescent, mercurial, temperamental, eclectic, and an open book. I love to talk, I love to sing, I love to write, I love to pose for pictures (especially when I’m not wearing any clothes because I think the naked body is absolutely beautiful), and I love to love. I’m passionate about animals, human rights, love (in any form), sexuality education/acceptance for society, changing stigmas in society about mental illness, educating society about mental illnesses, and trying to make the world a better place as best I can.

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